I love you, Goodbye
by RJ-Granger
Summary: A week after Arizona leaves Callie gets a phone call in the middle of the night.
1. Chapter 1

Sitting on the bed in her room at the hotel where all the staff she took to Africa with her were staying, Arizona Robbins looked at the phone in the room. Stared was more like it. She had lifted it off the hook 100 times over the last week, but was never able to dial all the numbers before. With a deep breath and her eyes a little blurred with tears already fighting to break free she finally dials the cell phone number she knows so well.

Groaning as she fumbles for her phone Callie contemplates just ignoring it. She's been working as much as legally possible since Arizona left, and she finally feels like she's at the point where sleep might finally come. Not bothering to check caller ID since it was probably just Mark calling to check up on her, again, she opens it.

"Hello?" She croaks out groggily.

Arizona doesn't answer for a second, in fact she nearly hangs up. She could hear the blood rushing in her ears though she wasn't sure how since she was pretty sure her heart had stopped at the sound of Callie's voice.

"I made it to Malawi." Arizona rushes out, needing to say something before she explodes. She wasn't sure if Callie knew who it was or if she would just hang up once she figured it out.

"I know. I check your flight online." Callie says softly, swallowing the massive lump that's rapidly rising in her throat.

Arizona felt a ghost of a smile fall on her lips and her eyes closed to prevent a wave of tears. "I couldn't let the last thing I said to you be the last thing I said to you." She whispers, a lump forming she can't fight back.

"It wasn't one of our finer moments." Callie agrees, grateful that she made it home before this phone call because she's not sure how much longer she can keep from breaking down.

Arizona didn't say anything for a moment, she was too tired to laugh and too proud to beg Callie to get on a plane and fly to her. "I wish more than anything that I'd won this three years before you and I met. I wish that I was finished with this chapter of my life before I found you. I can't not live this dream, but I wish I lived it before I found you."

"Ya well, the universe always has enjoyed fucking with me." Callie mutters bitterly. "But...at least you did find me. Having you, even for a little while, is better then nothing." She says sadly.

Arizona felt a few drops of salt-water fall down her face at the tone of Callie's voice. It was a tone she had never wanted to be the cause of. "I meant every word I ever said to you Calliope. Every loving utterance, every word spoken in a moment of passion, every passionte plea for you to talk to me. I meant them all and I will remember them always."

"I...I know you did. That's who you are, who you were raised to be." Callie murmurs, wiping away a few rogue tears. "You know that I meant everything too right?" She whispers, almost afraid of the answer.

"I know you did sweetie." Arizona whispers, moving her hand up and slowly wiping her tears away, only to have new ones spring forth to take the place of the ones on her hand. "I wish we were fixable. I wish me flying home or you flying here was a solution. I wish saying I could see myself with our daughter or son between us in bed on Christmas morning was a treaty like it was after the shooting." She forces out, her voice tightening noticeably.

"What am I supposed to do without you?" Callie whispers, her throat threatening to close up. "I...I thought I'd finally learned, finally stopped fucking everything up. But you're there and I'm here and...and I don't know what to do." She forces out, scrunching her eyes tightly shut in a vain attempt to stem the tears.

Arizona's breathing slowed as her heart broke even more. "You go to work and change people's lives, build legs and arms from nothing like God. You work on perfecting your cartilage so you can save even more lives." She whispers, that was the easy part to say. "You date and find someone who makes you smile again. Who makes me laugh and who will brush puke out of your hair when you get sick before public speaking. You move on and you learn from what we had. So next time, next time there won't be yelling in an airport, or a fight over babies that breaks you up. You find the person you were meant to be with." She chokes out as bile rises in her throat. As much she means the words she just said she still hates herself for saying them.

"I can do that, some of that. Work, that I can do." Callie says before clearing her throat. "But the rest...the person I'm meant to be with already has my heart." She whispers so softly she's not sure Arizona even hears. It's not a fair thing to say, for either of the, but she just can't help it.

"Calliope." Arizona closes her eyes, tears falling faster than she thought were possible. "I will be in Africa for at least three years. After that if things go as well as we hope I'll be going to another country to put this model into place." She whispers, telling Callie what she already knew. "You want babies and marriage and a stable life. You want Christmas in Miami and vacations in Spain."

"I want you." Callie forces out past her steady stream of tears. "I want babies with your dimples and golden curls that grow up to say words like awesome and act way too perky for their own good. I want to make you that sangria I promised and serve it to you on our private beach in Spain on our honeymoon."

"I can't give you what you need anymore. I can't give you what you deserve anymore." Arizona whispers, the pain of that truth settling over her for the first time. "As much as it hurts, and fuck does it hurt, you and I are aren't headed in the same direction." As she says the words she's certain there has never been a more bitter truth.

"Why can't I just hate you?" Callie says, letting out a desperate sob. "I've tried, god have I tried, but I can't. I love you, I love you so fucking much. If I could just...not...maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad." She whimpers weakly. She hates how weak she sounds, how weak she is, but she's got not defenses left.

"I wish you could hate me too." Arizona whispers, meaning it from the depths of her shattered heart. If Callie just hated her she would feel better. She would feel like Callie would get to move on. If she was out there loving her from Seattle her heart would always be broken. "I love you more than I have loved anyone I have ever been with. I may always feel that way, but we can't be together 10,000 miles away. It's not fair to either of us."

"I know it's not. You need someone who can hold when the tiny coffins haunt you. Someone you can pick a fight with when you're scared. Someone to be there. And I...I can't from 10,000 miles away. I can't be who you need." Callie sighs shakily, her words like a knife through her already shredded heart.

Arizona looks down at the floor, her eyes dancing over the swirls in the wood. "Promise me that you will move on one day from this." She whispers softly, knowing how selfish it os to make Callie commit to that. "Promise me you won't become the crazy manwhore lady, taking in stray Mark's from all over the city."

"Oh Ari." Callie chuckles weakly. "I won't make you a promise I can't keep. You deserve more than that. So, I won't promise you that I'll move on because I'm honestly not sure I ever will. But I will promise you that I won't turn into someone you wouldn't recognize, someone you wouldn't love. Ok?" She croaks outs, wondering if it really is possible to die of a broken heart.

Arizona chokes on her own tears when Callie calls her Ari. She hated that nickname, hated it from anyone that wasn't her Calliope. Except…she wasn't hers anymore was she? "I promise I will make you proud. I'm already planning to have a whole orthopedic wing in the hospital. The tiny humans break a lot of bones you know. Maybe one day you could come see it." She whispers, breathing in and letting it out slowly. She shouldn't have made that offer, it's not fair, it's not going to make this easier. But try as she might to not need that sliver of hope of one day seeing Calliope again, she does, she needs it more than air.

"Let me know when it's done, I'll be there for the grand opening." Callie murmurs. "And...I am proud of you. So proud. I know I never told you that and I should have. I'm sorry about that." She adds softly, regret lacing her tone.

Arizona smiles brighter than she has in a month. "Thank you for saying that. You were the first person I wanted to tell then I heard the news. I wanted you to be proud of me." She closes her eyes again before she speaks the next words, maybe the most difficult of this entire conversation. "I have to go now. I have to be to work in about half an hour."

"Right, of course. Tiny humans to save." Callie says, trying to sound upbeat and failing miserably. "I...I don't want to say goodbye so I'm just going to say I love you ok baby?" She whispers, clinging to her last shred of control for dear life.

Arizona starts crying silent tears, enough to fill on ocean, when Callie calls her baby. She always got the goofiest grin on her face when she heard Callie call her that. Now it feels almost like a slap to the face. "I love you, goodbye." She whispers, hanging the phone up quickly before she breaks down sobbing. She's doing the right thing for both of them, she knows that, but…doing the right thing has never felt more wrong.

Callie breaks completely when she hears the telltale click followed a dead silence letting her know that Arizona hung up. Forget about dying of a broken heart, she's pretty sure she doesn't have anything left to break. She can't help but wonder if the dull ache that's settling in her chest will ever go away. Deep down she knows Arizona's the only person who could ever do that.


	2. Chapter 2

About 400 years ago Walking_Weapon and I wrote the first chapter of this. And for the longest time it was only that chapter. But it was too sad. So we decided to add a second chapter phone call and a third chapter resolution.

Please enjoy!

* * *

The hotel room looked the same as it had two years ago when Arizona had entered it for the first time. The only reason she had stayed here was that it was about three miles from the site of the new hospital she worked so very hard to build. Sitting with both windows open, the promise of a breeze not being delivered on, and she picked up the little-used phone. The number she punched in was one she hoped was still connected to the right person. Holding her breath, she waited for the intended recipient to pick up the line.

Callie shimmied a bit to the music coming from her iPod as she brushed her teeth, ready to head to bed and enjoy some much-needed sleep followed by a day off that would hopefully be filled with more sleep. The last two years had been full of some of the best moments, at least professionally, all made slightly dimmer by the empty bed she came home to every night. Her cell ringing pulled her from her thoughts and she groaned thinking she's getting called in. Again. Being a rock star had its price. "Hewwo...Sorry, hello?" she said, pulling her toothbrush from her mouth and spitting.

"I'm sorry. I'm not sure I have the right number. I'm looking for Callie Torres." Arizona wasn't sure that the voice coming over the line was in fact Callie's. She was a little too used to hearing accents that weren't American spoken back toward her. As she waited for a reply she held the photo of herself and Callie a little tighter in her hand.

"No, no this is her. I mean yes, you've reached Callie Torres," she said, frowning as she tried to place the voice. She didn't bother looking at caller ID and she was regretting it now. The voice seemed so familiar but she couldn't figure out...why...All of a sudden her knees felt week and she slumped down on the edge of the bathtub. "Arizona?"

Arizona breathed once she knew she was finally talking to Callie again. "You told me you would come to the grand opening of the hospital, right?" She knew two long years without another phone call might have changed things. The handful of emails that had gone back and forth were almost clinical and very impersonal, both women too scared of admitting they were lonely to put anything too personal in. "It's in two weeks."

"Opening...oh! Oh, right," Callie said, her heart sinking back out of her throat as she realized this was mostly a business call. She'd hoped...well, she wasn't sure what she hoped; two years was a long time after all. "It's all done, then? The hospital is all built and ready to break ground?" she asked, trying to be polite but not too familiar Truthfully, she wasn't really sure how they should talk to each other anymore.

"The breaking ground part happened before we built. This is more the opening doors and cutting ribbons part." Arizona shifted on the bed, her thighs sticking together slightly and the dampness on her skin making it hard to move. "I was hoping that you would be free to come and be here as my guest." She could have asked Teddy and saved all of this, but it was so hard to turn away from Callie, even after 752 days of pure hell.

"Of course. I'd be honored," Callie blurted out without hesitating. Her brain jumped on a million and one reasons she should have said no the second the words left her mouth, but she wouldn't take them back if she could. It was Arizona, she'd say yes and come when she called no matter how much time went by or how hard it was being without her. "The chief owes me time off anyway since I never take any. It's a little short notice but he'll live."

"I know I should have called sooner. We were going to have the opening in six weeks but things got labeled wrong and the government wants to do it now so it fits with some big celebration or something. I sent you an invitation first class mail. And I got you a hotel room, too, so you have a place to stay." She wanted to show Callie she had at least done some planning the help her out.

"You didn't have to do all that. An email would have done the job," Callie said, smiling a little at the effort Arizona put in. It was so like her. "I'll call up the chief tomorrow and take care of the time off, and then I'll book a flight. I can email you once I know when I'll get in. So you don't worry."

"Thank you, I would worry if you didn't." Arizona ran her thumb over the photo in her hand, trying to figure out what to say to Callie and what to wait to say in person. Finally, she decided that she couldn't wait any longer. "I've missed you, a lot, since I've come here. I'm not sure that I've done more than run on autopilot since I've been here."

"I'm sure you've done more than run on autopilot. You've been doing amazing work saving all kinds of kids," Callie said, her throat tightening up a bit. Did she say anything else back? Did she say things she hadn't let herself admit out loud in months? "I've missed you, too. None of the awards or big cases are the same without you here," she blurts out in a rush, needing it off her chest.

Arizona felt like she was walking on hot coals. No matter where she stepped now, she was going to get burned somehow. Trying not to chicken out, she started to speak. "When I came over here, even though we had just broken up in an airport, I knew I was going to be able to do good work and because I was doing good work I was going to make it though. And I have, made it through two years. But that's all I've done. I haven't laughed or been loved or held or had someone I could act silly with or fight with or feel knew every thought in my head with just a look since you. I will never regret my work here. There is so much good that will be done. But I will always wish it had been done with you at my side."

"I...uh...I don't know how to take that," Callie says honestly, her whole body feeling heavy. "I guess it's nice to know that, but at the same time...I've been getting by telling myself that you're happy. That you're doing what you love. You left so we could both be happy and I guess...I was hoping one of us was," she says, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees.

"I have 357 days left on this grant. And on the 358th day I plan to walk up to your apartment door and knock on it. And I hope that you will answer it and you and I can talk or have sex or have the fight we should have had before the airport or whatever we need to do so we're girlfriends again. Because I can't go the next 45 years knowing I had the love of my life and I let that relationship end for a job. As important and needed as that job was." Arizona had been readying these statements in her head for too long not to use them.

"Arizona..." Callie whispered softly, heart swelling and shrinking and breaking apart all at once. She wanted to tell Arizona to just get on a plane and come back now. Or tell her she was on the next plane there. She wanted to tell her it would work and they'd finally fix it and it'd all be okay. But how can she? The person she used to be, the person who believed in happily ever after, she aren't around anymore. "It's late here and I had a hell of a day. I should really get some sleep. But I'll email you tomorrow as soon as everything is set up. Promise. And I...uh...I really do miss you."

Arizona felt like she had taken a punch to the gut. She had put everything on the line for Callie and had gotten, in her mind, brushed off. She wasn't sure what else to say to her, not sure she could say anything that would make much of a difference at this point. "Yeah, email me when you figure it all out. I'll be doing paperwork all day, so yeah," she muttered weakly.

"I will. And I'll see you soon. I'm looking forward to it," Callie said, sensing Arizona's hurt in her voice. She wished she could do more about it, but she just felt so lost. And this call and conversation was so out of the blue. "Oh, hey, do you need anything? Is there anything I can bring you?" she offers quickly.

Arizona was tempted to say something slightly dirty but she knew she and Callie weren't there at all. "I really just want to see you again. Maybe bring some photos or something like that?" She hadn't really seen or talked to anyone else from the hospital outside of a phone call one a month or so to Teddy.

"Absolutely, I think I have just the thing," Callie says, already planning a few other things she might be able to bring. It wasn't like she needed to pack all that much; may as well use the room for something useful in her suitcase. "Um…well...I guess I should get going. But thank you so much for calling and inviting me. It really means the world to me. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"I will see you soon." Arizona looked down at a version of herself that she wasn't sure that she would know anymore and the woman she was still so in love in. "I love you, Calliope, just know that," she whispered before hanging up the phone. She didn't want to give Callie the chance not to say it back.

"I love you too," Callie whispers to the static-filled line, staring over at the empty side of her bed. It had been empty for two years now. She did still love Arizona, so damn much, but she was scared that this meeting wouldn't go well. And putting her heart on the line only to have it smashed would kill her; she wouldn't come back from it. Shaking her head, she grabbed her laptop and started making plans, even going so far as to make a list of what she needed to pack. Arizona would never have believed she could be so organized.


	3. Chapter 3

About 400 years ago Walking_Weapon and I wrote the first chapter of this. And for the longest time it was only that chapter. But it was too sad. So we decided to add a second chapter phone call and a third chapter resolution.

Please enjoy!

* * *

Callie easily spotted her bag on the small carousel and retrieved it before moving further into the airport and trying to spot her ride. Arizona replied to her email, telling her that someone would be there with her name on a sign to get her. She was hoping whoever it was spoke English since she was feeling pretty lost at the moment and out of her depth.

Dressed in shorts and a light color top, with hiking boots and thick socks, Arizona held a sign with Callie's name on it. She wanted her being the one to pick her up to be a surprise, hopefully a good one. She spotted Callie before Callie spotted her, and her heart started to thump in her chest.

Callie slowly moved through the light crowd, scanning the terminal. She saw her name and started moving toward it before she spotted who was holding the sign. When she did, she stopped dead in her tracks. She looked good. That was the first thing she thought. She looked a little thinner and a lot more tanned, her hair lighter from the sun. But her eyes were just as blue and her smile...she could get lost in that smile.

It wasn't lost on Arizona that Callie had gotten thinner. It looked good on her but she had been hoping that she would still have the curves that she dreamed of at night. When she noticed Callie had stopped walking she moved closer to her, standing about a foot away from her. "I was able to arrange it so I was the one picking you up."

"Oh god..." Callie whispered shakily, Arizona's voice snapping her from her daze. Dropping her bag, she stepped forward and pulled Arizona into a fierce hug. "It's so good to see you again," she whispered, only just holding back tears. Part of her knew this place was different than what she was used to and she needed to be careful.

Arizona couldn't stop herself from hugging Callie back; even if she had wanted to, it would have been impossible. It had been two very long and lonely years of being halfway across the world; her first taste of home was finally here. "Careful," she did finally manage to whisper when she pulled back. She knew what could happen if it got out around here what she was.

"I know," Callie smiles, quickly picking her bags back up to keep from grabbing Arizona again and probably doing more than just hug her. "I didn't expect you to be here. I figured you'd be too busy working, or setting up for tomorrow."

"I should have been but I put my number two in charge and took my first day off in 11 months." Arizona knew that David could handle it. He was the chief of surgery for a small hospital in the south, having come here when the pressure there was just too much on him.

"Well, we should get going then. I know you hate being away from a project you're in charge of, even if you do train great surgeons. Karev is doing really well, finally got the board to oust Stark and put him in as head after a pretty bad screw-up," Callie said, rambling a little as she followed Arizona towards the waiting jeep.

"Alex has been an attending for less than a year and he is the head of the peds department?" Arizona asked, the shock of that hitting her like a two-ton load of bricks. "How is he even kind of ready for that to be on his shoulders?" She opened Callie's door before going around to her side.

Callie smiled a little at Arizona's chivalry. Some things never changed. "It's a temporary job at the moment. Stark, the guy who replaced you, nearly cut off a perfectly salvageable leg. Alex had to body block him until an intern could come find me. Then I overrode him and Alex and I rocked the surgery. Add that to the stack of parental complaints about bedside manner, nearly OD-ing an infant with the wrong meds, and three different nurses filing grievances, and Stark really stood no chance."

"Sounds like a real winner." Arizona couldn't believe a person like that was able to be a doctor, much less the head of a whole department. The idea that a leg could have been removed for any reason made Arizona's blood run hot. "Anyway, I have you in the same hotel I've been at, three doors down. And I know a really great place for us to eat tonight. I thought we could have dinner together after I take you to the hotel to shower. I'm sure the flight was killer."

"Ugh. It was brutal. I was stuck between this fat, smelly guy on one side and an old, snoring guy on the other. Thank God my iPod held out for most of the trip," Callie groaned, shuddering a bit at the memory. She was a little in awe as she watched Arizona maneuver the jeep through the busy, hectic city streets. She never drove like that in Seattle. "So what's the plan after dinner? Um...for tomorrow, I mean?"

"Tomorrow I have to be at the hospital at ten to make sure everything is ready for the grand opening and walk-though. Then, at eleven, the local chiefs and government people get a private walk-though; at twelve is lunch and at one I have to give a speech and for the next two hours after that, people are able to walk around. At four, I have the first surgery." She was really happy that she got to perform a surgery. It was a nice reward after having to play hostess all day.

"Sounds like a busy day. I'm guessing I'm on my own until lunch then?" Callie asked, assuming she wouldn't get to tag along for the dignitary stuff in the morning. "Oh, and what surgery are you doing? I'd love to watch it. If you don't mind, that is," she offers a little shyly. She hadn't been in an OR with Arizona in a very long time.

"I was hoping you wouldn't mind coming with me in the morning. I could use your support tomorrow," Arizona admitted as she waited for a light to turn. "And I was also hoping you wouldn't mind being in the OR with me. There are a lot of great doctors that are going to be working in the hospital. But it's an ortho case and I'd really love it if you were there."

"Really? If you're sure...I know it's a really big moment for you. But if you need me there then of course I'll be there. That's what I'm here for anyway, right?" Callie smiled, wondering if Arizona needing her was why she was here, Or if it was just that she wanted her, wanted to remember what she left to come here and remember that it was worth it.

"Seven-year-old boy's grandfather tried to set his leg after her fell out of a tree. Three years later the leg is curved in ways that plastic would have a hard time managing." Talking about a case and not about why Callie was here sounded like a really great plan to Callie. "I figured helping him out would be something you would be able to do with me."

"That sounds like it's right up my alley." Callie nodded, realizing what dangerous territory they were just about to enter. "Any chance you can get me the scans and stuff tonight? I'd like a little time to come up with a game plan. And I'm assuming you have hardware? I can tell the kid is going to need some."

"Oh, Calliope." Arizona couldn't help but to laugh a little bit. "I had quite a nice amount of money to get this hospital set up. I have some of the most top of the line hardware that's out there. Some of the stuff in ortho you haven't even gotten to work with yet, it's so new." She didn't want to brag but she really kind of did.

"Really? I kind of figured you were just getting fancy new walls. I didn't know you were getting fancy stuff to put inside them, too," Callie said, a little teasingly. "Just get me the scans. I'll come up with a game plan we can rock and we'll have this kid running around in no time."

"There are in your hotel room on your desk, the chart, blood work, scans, everything." Arizona had kind of guessed that if she dangled a pretty cool surgery in front of Callie, she was going to say yes. "I thought breaking in OR #1 might be something you'd want to do. So I went ahead and set you up. Oh, scrubs and a lab coat are there too."

"You thought of everything, huh?" Callie smiled over at Arizona, trying to get over how amazing it was just to see her and hear her voice in person again. She needed to if she was going to manage coherent conversation over dinner. "Um...so how formal is tomorrow, then? Because I'd love to just wear scrubs all day, but I kinda figured that wouldn't fly."

"Pretend your father is coming into town." Arizona knew how Callie normally dressed when Carlos Torres showed up. The pearls came out; it was just about the only time they did, too. "We're going to be around some very powerful people. I am going to be in heels for like nine hours tomorrow and you know how much I hate wearing heels."

"Ooh, ouch," Callie said, grimacing sympathetically. "I brought a pair so I'll wear them in commiseration. We can bemoan our aching feet together after rocking the surgery." She laughed, trying very hard not to think about how much like old times this was starting to feel.

As Arizona pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, she turned off the jeep. "I'll show you to your room and let you change before I go change for dinner." She got out, trying her best not to reach for Callie's hand. The temptation to act like she was still Callie's was growing harder and harder to resist.

"Thanks. And thanks for picking me up. I was kind of nervous as I got closer and realized I didn't really have a whole lot of preparation to go on for being here," Callie said with a small smile as they headed inside. She noticed how the man at the counter smiled and waved at Arizona, and how the maid they passed smiled too. She wasn't surprised. If Arizona had been here two years, she'd probably made all sort of friends.

"I really hope you still like fish. Because meat is kind of something that is hard to come by here." Arizona was wearing a red dress that fell far under her knee and a pair of flats that matched. Most of the people around them were dressed in their best, something that was common here. "I can order for you if you want. I pretty much remember what you like."

"Oh, sure. Go ahead and order; I'm a bit lost," Callie said with a forced smile, trying not to look at Arizona's chest. It was covered well by the perfectly modest dress, but it was still Arizona wearing a red dress. She would have to have been dead not to notice.

Arizona tried to act as if she was having dinner with an old friend and not an old girlfriend. The feeling of being seated at a table with Callie was starting to play on her nerves a little bit. "I'm really glad you came out for this. I know how hard it is to get here and I know you didn't have to, but thank you."

"I did have to. You called. I had to come," Callie said softly. "And really, it was a great excuse to get some time off. The chief just told me to try and plug the hospital's name a bit if I get interviewed." She laughed a little at Richard's penchant for trying to promote SGMW.

"Sounds like Richard." Arizona leaned back in her chair a little bit, everything that had happened between them over the years in the front of her mind. "After dinner, would you mind if I gave you a private tour of the hospital? There's something I want you to see and I'd rather you see it tonight than tomorrow."

"Um...sure, if it's not too late. I know it's a big day for you and you must be stressed. You need to try and get some sleep," Callie says with a fond smile, remembering how hard a time Arizona had sleeping before big, important events.

"I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep tonight, but it's nice of you to think to say so." Arizona hadn't slept well in a long time, but she decided not to bring that up right now. "I have some work I have to get done before I go to bed; finish my speech and all that."

"You'll be fine. You've always been awesome with speeches, this time will be no different," Callie says confidently. "And if worse comes to worse, you can always just fall back on the medicine and talk about the tiny humans. No one says no to the tiny humans, remember?" She smirks a bit, knowing it was playing with fire to bring up things that tied into their past.

"I remember." Arizona's voice was soft. She was trying to keep her emotions in check. "I'll be able to do it. I just want to have the speech be as close to perfect as I can make it. I have a few points I want to make and I don't want to mince words." She took a drink, trying to soothe her dry throat. "Anyway, tell me, how does it feel to head up a department?"

"It feels amazing," Callie said, her face breaking into a dazzling smile. "I finally get to call the shots and have some real pull. Last year I got the board to agree to a fellowship spot for ortho so I have to start dealing with that soon. The paperwork never ends and anything that goes wrong is automatically my fault. But...it's...it's just plain awesome." She laughed.

"I remember the first day of having the department on my shoulders. There's that feeling that finally after all the hard work you are the big boss. And then there's the first case where you have to make a call as the big boss and you feel like a med student again, wondering why everyone is looking to you to make that call." Arizona shook her head, wishing a lot lately she could go back and redo that time. So many things she would change.

"Oh my god, I know. The first time I had a nurse come to me and ask to verify a treatment plan from another attending she had doubts about? I was like, 'why are you asking me?'" Callie laughed, wondering what Arizona must have been like when she found out she got the job in Seattle. "I still get a lot of OR time, but I'm pretty busy with my research, too. Not a lot of down time, but that's how I like it."

"I can understand that. I'm working about 90 hours a week, barely enough time to sleep and shower every day." Arizona needed to keep going, to keep pushing to keep working. If she stopped and saw just how much she hated her life, she wasn't sure what she would do. "I have that here in spades. It's like being chief of staff. People are asking me things I have no idea how to answer. But I'm the boss so I have to figure it out."

"Tell me about it. Bailey took a holiday last month. That in itself is insane enough but she deserves it and she wanted some time with Tuck. Anyway, you should have seen the place. No one knew which way was up and somehow I became the go-to for most of the interns and residents," Callie said with a shake of her head as she remembered that chaotic time period.

"Bailey takes time off? I thought she had a plug to recharge herself," Arizona joked, knowing that Bailey deserved way more time off than she took. "I wish I had a Bailey here. I am pretty good, but no one whips people into shape like she does."

"Every new class of interns and residents, she somehow manages to find time to put the fear of God into them. It's something to see," Callie said with another shake of her head, glad their food came and staved off too much more reminiscing about Bailey or the good old days.

Arizona was glad for the food. It meant she could eat and not have to talk. Talking was bad when all she wanted to say were things that could get her into trouble. How was it that after two years apart, two years of being thousands of miles apart, she still found herself feeling like she and Callie never had left each other's sides?

Callie dutifully kept her eyes down and her mouth full for the next half-hour or so, sharing the odd comment or reply to Arizona's words to keep things from being overly awkward. Why was this so hard? She knew it wouldn't be easy, but she thought she had just been freaking herself out. She didn't think it would actually be so hard not to hold Arizona's hand or kiss her or blurt out that she loved her.

After paying the bill, Arizona stood up, trying to get all of her courage to come forward. "I think we have enough time to swing by the hospital before we go back to the hotel." She really wanted to show Callie something before tomorrow. Something she hoped Callie would like.

"I'll take your word for it. My body still thinks its God knows what hour back in Seattle," Callie laughed as she followed Arizona out to the jeep, their arms brushing as they pass through the doorway before the cool evening air hit them.

The drive to the hospital was quiet, both a little lost in their thoughts. About a mile away, the building appeared in front of them, the newest, biggest and most impressive thing around. It was all steel and glass, function meets art. It was the kind of building people would remember when they saw it. "I had a contest, a 19-year-old student drew it and my guys said it was possible, so there it is."

"Wow. This is amazing," Callie said in awe as she saw the structure growing closer. She wasn't really sure what she expected but this, this wasn't it. "I mean, wow. You could put this place in the middle of any big city and it would fit right in."

"That was the goal. We wanted a place that would be big enough to serve the needs for years to come." Arizona parked in the spot reserved for her before getting out. "The thing I want to show you is inside. I will give you a private tour tomorrow. It'll take too long for the full one tonight."

"Yeah, of course. I was serious about you trying to get some sleep, anyway. You look like you need it," Callie said, bumping Arizona's shoulder to take any sting out of her words. Arizona may have looked stunningly beautiful, and probably looked fine to anyone else, but Callie knew her too well. She could tell she hadn't slept well in far too long.

Arizona took her keys out, unlocking the front door and walking inside, holding the door open for Callie. After moving though the building she stopped on the second floor, at a T in the hall. "So I know this is kind of a big deal. But I really hope you like it, because there's no time to change it." Leading Callie around the corner, the words on the wall became visible: The Calliope Torres Orthopedic Wing.

"Arizona..." Callie whispered, lifting her hand to her mouth and feeling her eyes get a little misty. The idea that Arizona would put her name on something like this, on a part of her dream...it was unbelievable and perfect and a million other things that all made her feel way too much at once. "You really did it. I mean, you said you would, but..."

"I needed a part of you here. If I could just have something labeled Callie's wing, I could feel like maybe you were here with me," Arizona admitted, wishing things were that simple. "I needed there to be some of you in this too. I needed, however small, for you to be part of my dream."

"You shouldn't have needed this. I should have been here. I should have been a part of all of this with you," Callie said, trying not to sound bitter or angry. If she did, she hoped Arizona knew none of it was directed at her. It was directed at herself for being so stupid back in the airport two years ago. "Thank you for this. I don't deserve it, but thank you."

"I wish you were here for all the times I was a mess because of delays and screw-ups. I wish you were here when I was crying the day we broke ground. But I know why you weren't and it was my own damn fault. But right now you're here and all I want to do is kiss you and beg you not to go back. Because I can't do this anymore. I'm going to work myself to death if I keep going like this." Arizona felt herself break, finally admitting she couldn't do it alone.

"Shh...shh...I'm right here," Callie said, pulling Arizona into a hug. "I'm right here. It's okay. Just let it out," she soothed gently, swaying them slightly. Maybe it was wrong, maybe it would blow up in her face, but right now she just wanted to comfort Arizona, to make her feel a little bit more whole. They could deal with the rest...later.

"Wow, how awesome was that?" Callie grinned as she scrubbed out next to Arizona. They had just finished a grueling surgery on the ten-year-old boy's mangled leg and, despite a few tense moments, totally rocked it. "He's totally going to walk and run and play again. And all because of us, because of what we did. God, I love my job."

The morning had gone great, but this was what Arizona had really been looking forward to. Not the press and the shaking hands, but using the equipment that she fought so hard to get to really help kids who needed it. "You were a rock star in there. I haven't been able to find anyone to head the ortho department. After that, anyone who might have come forward might be too scared to."

"You'll find someone," Callie laughed as she dried her hands and followed Arizona out of the scrub room. "Of course, no one is quite as badass as me, but I'm sure you can find a decent runner-up." She winked, feeling like she was on cloud nine at the moment.

Arizona handled most of the media that was waiting for them while Callie went and talked to the family of the little boy. Afterward, they met in the locker room, both ready to take some down time. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to have dinner together tonight or not. The hotel has really great food if you want to eat in my room or something."

"Actually, I should probably pack since I have an early flight..." Callie started, seeing Arizona's expression fall. "But I need to eat, too, so I'd love to have dinner with you. We could go out somewhere if you wanted? My treat," she offered.

"We can eat at the hotel. You have such a long trip back to Seattle that I shouldn't keep you up too late." Arizona smiled softly, putting her hand on Callie's back before opening the door for her to go to the parking lot.

"I have the day after I get back off, I'll survive. Plus I'm the ortho head. I can delegate and then just sleep in my office." Callie laughed, feeling a shiver run up her spine at the feel of Arizona's hand on her back.

Arizona opened Callie's door once they got to the jeep. She hadn't been this happy in a long time. As long as she didn't think about the fact that Callie was leaving tomorrow, she would be fine. When she started to think about Callie leaving, it killed her mood.

"Thanks again for letting me work on this case. It was really neat to be a part of that today," Callie said as Arizona drove them the short distance to the hotel. She was trying really hard not to get too emotional or sentimental because if she did she wasn't sure what would happen.

"It was nice to get to break in the hospital with you. If I had to pick anyone in the world to break it in with, it would have been you." Arizona tried not to cry, tried not to have her mask cracked. "To have it go so well was really nice. It will be good press for us."

"Good, I'm glad I could help with that. Hopefully it will help you get some good attention and maybe some money, too," Callie said, working hard to keep her own emotions in check as she picked up on the slight crack in Arizona's voice. She didn't want to think about how today she finally got to be a part of Arizona's dream, a dream she should have been part of for the past two years.

Arizona didn't get out of the jeep once she parked. She wanted to have as much time with Callie as she could, even if it was just a few seconds before getting out of the jeep. "Go change or relax for a little bit. I'll have dinner brought up in about an hour," she finally said, opening her door and getting out. "You were great today, Callie. Thank you for being there."

"Nowhere else I'd rather be," Callie said, giving Arizona a soft smile before getting out of the jeep and quickly heading inside. What the hell was she doing? She knew coming here would be torture of the worst kind, but this...the reality of it was so much worse. There's so much she wanted to say that she just couldn't seem to get out.

Arizona changed from her dress clothes to something much less formal, pajama pants and a tank top. She needed to try to make tonight as great as possible. Tonight's warmth had to last her a year. She was sick of being cold.

Callie wasted an hour in her room doing not much more than pace and mutter to herself. In the end, she'd managed to pack exactly one shirt and talk herself in circles. Finally giving up on sorting out anything, she gathered up the things she brought for Arizona and heads off down the hall to her room. Maybe if she just relaxed and enjoyed dinner, the words she needed would come.

Arizona opened the door when she heard a knock, jitters in her belly. "Hey." She couldn't keep the smile off of her face at seeing Callie. "Come in, our food should be here soon." She stepped back to let Callie in.

"Great." Callie smiled, walking in and setting a few plastic bags containing the bulk of the contents of her suitcase on Arizona's bed. "It was late last night by the time we got back here, so I didn't get a chance to give you this. It's not much, just a few things from home I brought for you," she says a bit shyly.

"Anything from home is something I want." Arizona smiled, eager to see what Callie had in the bags. "I know this place is a little bit of a mess, but I have been living here for two years so, you know me." She blushed, moving to the bed so Callie could show her what she had.

"Are you kidding? It's way neater than my room back home." Callie laughed, knowing Arizona would know that was true. As clean as she may have kept the rest of the apartment, her bedroom was always a disaster zone. "I brought some stuff for you and some stuff for the kids. There are crayons and felt and stuff like that. And I brought your favorite body wash and soap, oh and chocolate, of course," Callie explained as she sorts through the various items.

"Chocolate." Arizona couldn't keep the grin off her face when her favorite food was brought up. "I was hoping you would bring me chocolate." She took a bar from Callie, ripping the wrapper open and taking a bite. "I could kiss you right now," she muttered as she munched on it.

"Lucky I know you then, since you insisted you didn't need anything." Callie laughed at the blissful expression on Arizona's face. Hearing a knock at the door, she got up to go answer it, waving Arizona off when she tried to do the same. "I've got it, you keep looking through your loot." She winks, going to the door and collecting their dinner.

Arizona pulled out a photo book and started to look at the friends she left behind. She smiled when she looked at the faces of some of the kids that made it off of the peds floor. "Thank you for this. It's really amazing to see Seattle again." She tried not to cry when she closed the album.

"I could tell you missed the place. I thought you might like to see how everyone is doing." Callie shrugged, setting up their dinner on the small table by the window. It was a cozy room and she couldn't help but wonder if they would have shared it if she'd gotten on the plane two years ago.

"I did. Thank you for giving me a taste of home." Arizona put the book on her bedside table so she could look at it before she went to bed. "I missed having you here. Thank you again for coming here and being a part of all this. I know you didn't have to do it and I'm really glad you did."

"Stop. You don't have to keep thanking me. I wanted to come and I'm really glad I did, too. The work you're doing here is amazing. I'm glad I got to see it firsthand," Callie said with a smile as she sat down and waited for Arizona to join her.

Arizona sat down at the table, pulling the cover off of her plate. "I'm nervous, I can't help it around you." She felt herself blush a little bit as she took a sip of water. "I really am happy how today went. I hope tomorrow is much less high-profile."

"I'm sure it will be. I mean, none of the bigwigs will be around, right? Or the press? So it should be quieter. You can just relax and focus on the medicine." Callie smiled as she dug into dinner, suddenly realizing how hungry she was after the long surgery.

"I have a lot of paperwork and stuff to do tomorrow." Arizona made a little bit of a face. "I hate paperwork but that's the job for the big boss." She took a bite of her fish, used to eating it after all this time. "But I get two surgeries so I get to end the day on a good note."

"Sounds like a decent day, then. I try to end my days on a surgery, too. Helps me remember why I do what I do," Callie said, making a bit of a face as she ate the fish. Even after barely two days it was wearing on her. If only she had a few spices and a stove...she was sure she could make it taste better.

"I have most of my staff set up. Interns are coming in tomorrow. We really start the big deal stuff tomorrow." Arizona sighed, trying to figure out how she was going to do this job. She had been working in a clinic and had been getting the hospital ready, but this was a totally new game.

"You'll do great. You were made for this. Running a hospital, handling all the crap, it sucks but I know you can manage it. Look at how well you had peds running back SGMW. You've got this," Callie said confidently, reading the worry all over Arizona's face.

"Thank you." Arizona was glad Callie could still give her the bump of confidence that she needed right now. "I really needed someone to say that to me. All the people here are so green and so ready to fight no one has time to make sure I'm not jumping off the building."

"You better not. Otherwise Teddy and I will be on the first plane out here to kick your ass. In fact, if I don't get an update every week or two I'm going to assume you did jump off a building and come out here and kick your ass anyway," Callie threatened playfully, a little surprised at how easily the light banter between them comes after all this time.

"Thanks for watching out for me. I keep trying to get Teddy to come out here, but she can't get out of her contract." Arizona wished she had a friend, someone who really cared about her to have her back right now. It was lonely fighting the good fight without a friend there to help her win.

"That explains why she was so pissed she made three interns cry last week after her meeting with the chief." Callie sighed as realization dawned on her. She'd wondered what that was about. "I'm surprised you didn't recruit Alex. He would have bolted when Stark was still in charge."

"Lucy is here, so I'm not sure how much he wants the job." Arizona knew Lucy had tried a few times to get Alex to talk to her; as far as she knew it hadn't gone well. "Honestly, I wish he was here. I could use him."

"Ah, right. Well, with Stark gone now I'm not sure he'd be as eager anyway. I'd forgotten about the mess with Lucy. That boy has worse luck with women than anyone I know." Callie chuckled, shaking her head. "I'm sure you'll find someone decent for a right-hand man, though."

'It's getting late. You should go get some sleep and make sure everything is charged for tomorrow." Arizona didn't want dinner to end but both their plates were clean and she felt a tug behind her eyes. She needed to try to get some sleep before a day that might have been more hectic than today was.

"What time do you head to the hospital tomorrow? My flight's pretty early, but maybe we can say a quick goodbye in the morning?" Callie said, suddenly loath to have this be the last time she saw her former lover.

"Officially I have to be there for the first staff meeting at seven. But knowing me I'll be there at five." Arizona knew she wasn't going to be able to help herself. "There's too much to do to stay away for too long, you know?"

"Yeah, I do. I was the same way when I first made department head. Um...I guess this is goodbye, then," Callie says, lingering by the door and glancing down at her feet. There was no yelling or tears this time, so why did her heart feel just like it did in the airport?

"Goodbye." Arizona walked over, stopping about a foot away from Callie. She wasn't sure if she should hug Callie or not. She wanted to gather her in her arms and never let her go again. But she didn't want to make Callie feel uncomfortable. Finally she decided to hug Callie, taking the chance.

"Bye," Callie whispers, returning Arizona's embrace just as strongly. Arizona didn't smell the same as she remembered and she was skinnier, yet her hug felt just the same as it always had. It felt warm and strong and comforting. It felt like home. "Take care of yourself. Don't work too hard. I'll let you know when I land in Seattle so you know I'm home safe," she said softly as they pulled apart, gazing at each other for a few seconds before she forced herself to leave and go back to her room.

Arizona shut the door before turning and leaning against it. The thought that she might not see Callie again for a year was very present on her mind. How could she expect for Callie to still be waiting for her when she came back to Seattle? How could she expect Callie to put her life on hold? She couldn't. It wasn't fair.

Callie got back to her room and packed on autopilot. She could have been putting her underwear in her toilet kit and her toothbrush in with her socks for all she knew. When she was done she went to bed, alarm on her cell set so she could get to the airport in time for her plane. Instead of sleep, though, all she did was toss and turn and think until finally it was like she was crawling out of her skin and she couldn't take it anymore. Before she knew what she was doing, she found herself outside Arizona's door, knocking loudly.

Arizona was worried that someone was bringing a sick kid to her room. It wouldn't be the first time someone came to her hotel room directly. "What is it?" she asked, opening the door as quickly as she could. "Oh, it's you." She put a hand over her racing heart, trying to control her breathing.

"I love you. I love you so freaking much and that makes me crazy because...because I shouldn't, you know? I mean, you dumped me in an airport two years ago," Callie said in a rush, her expression intense as two years of repressed emotions came spilling out. "But even if it's crazy and even if it makes no sense, I love you so much. I can't breathe without you. These past two years have been dull and grey without you. I've been on autopilot. You make me this clichéd, heartbroken mess and I should hate you for that but I can't. So...so I'm not getting on that plane tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere. I love you and I want be with you wherever you are."

Arizona pulled Callie into her room before sticking her head out into the hall and seeing if anyone was out there. If anyone had heard Callie, they could both get in some major trouble. When she was sure that no one had, she locked the door and turned to Callie. "I love you too." She kept her voice low, wanting to believe what Callie said but having a hard time. "You really don't want to leave, you're going to stay. Really?"

"Yes. I don't care what I end up doing as long as I'm with you. I should have followed you two years ago, after that first phone call at the very least," Callie says, nervously watching Arizona for more of a reaction.

Arizona closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing. When that didn't do anything to calm her down, she stepped forward and pulled Callie into a tight hug. "I love you." She wasn't sure that anything else was really necessary, so she didn't say all of the things she had in her head.

"I love you too," Callie whispered, sinking into Arizona's embrace and deepening it the way she'd wanted to since she saw her in the airport. "So...so you want me here? You want me to stay? I can run the ortho department if you want, or just work as a surgeon, anything you need. I'm here."

"Do I want you here? Is that even a question?" Arizona laughed and pulled back, though she didn't let go of Callie. "I want you here and I want you running the ortho department. I need to know that someone here has my back." Her smile faded a little bit as another thought crossed her mind. "Though we have to be really careful, Calliope. Like unbelievably careful about our relationship."

"Oh, right," Callie said, her smile slipping a bit. "Right, I hadn't thought about that. But...we'll just be careful, then. We'll figure it out. And a year is a long time, but it's not forever, and it's less than the two years we've been apart, right? Maybe we can even steal a quick vacation under the guise of going to get supplies or something if we really need time alone."

Arizona slid her hand down to Callie's, holding it tightly. It felt so good to touch her again and know that Callie was hers to touch. "We will figure it out. The important thing is that you're staying and that we're together again. I know we have a lot to work out, talks need to be had and decisions need to be made. But right now, all I want to do is give you a kiss and then lie down and hold you. Is that all right with you?"

"All right? That's perfect," Callie said softly, dipping her head and meeting Arizona halfway for a kiss that was slow and deep and full of passion and tenderness all at once. It was enough to make her head spin after going two years without so much as a peck from the woman who well and truly owned her heart.

Arizona tugged Callie's hand and brought her over to the bed. Climbing in and snuggling to the form next to her, for the first time in two years she actually wanted to be in bed about to go to sleep. She didn't feel lonely and scared right now; she just felt at peace. "I love you. Goodnight."


End file.
